Motivational Reading

A Grace Given

Author(s): 
Kent Gilges
Number of pages: 
260 pages
Copyright: 
2008
Publisher: 
Cider Press Publishing
Review: 
On January 21, my children and I were visiting my mother for her birthday when a dreadful thing happened. Just as my eight-year-old daughter was leaning over to give her a kiss, Mom began to have a violent seizure. The staff of the rehabilitation center where she was already fighting back from a stroke ushered us out of the room, rushing her immediately to Good Samaritan Hospital. The very next day, January 22, the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, A Grace Given by Kent Gilges arrived in my mailbox. Never was a book more aptly named because that is precisely what it became for me during those following weeks of uncertainty and turmoil. A Grace Given tells the story of Elizabeth Nyanga Gilges (“Elie”), an infant diagnosed with a brain tumor at seven months of age. Recounted with unspeakable tenderness by her father Kent, Elie’s tale unfolds before us so that we are swept up in the beauty, fragility, dignity, and inestimable worth of her life. Throughout his personal narrative, Elie’s father contemplates the question of human suffering with authenticity and wisdom, so that the book is somehow at once both heartrending and uplifting — yet never for an instant depressing. It has been said that a great book should be read three times in life: once in childhood, once in early adulthood, and again in old age. I would venture to say that A Grace Given deserves to be read at least three times: once at the outset of marriage, once in the middle of life, and again in old age. It should be required reading for couples about to be married because it illustrates better than any book I have ever read how the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage unites a man and wife, drawing them closer, even in the midst of life’s heaviest crosses. As I read their story, Kent, his wife Liz, and baby Elie became for me a reflection of the Holy Family on the flight into Egypt, calling to mind the strength and devotion of St. Joseph, Our Lady’s faith and obedience to God’s will, and the Christ Child’s tender innocence. In this age of throw-away marriages, Kent and Liz show what Our Lord intended when He said, “And the two shall become one flesh.” We recognize plainly that, throughout her many sufferings, little Elie was blessed because her parents’ deep love for one another surrounded her always. It should be read again in middle age, when one’s parents are aging or sick. The book became (and continues to be) a balm to my soul as I witnessed all my mother has endured these many months, helping me to understand that sorrow draws us closer to God, and the gift of life is always worth celebrating, even in its darkest hours. It should be read again in old age, when its lessons on strength in suffering and relief in selflessness are no doubt best understood. My favorite person in the book is Liz, and I found myself not only identifying with her as a mother, but wishing I could be more like her. She is strong and loving in the face of adversity, endlessly devoted to her child, and completely trusting in God’s care. She turns to the rosary, prayer, and the sacraments in her time of need, so that she becomes a model for all parents, particularly those who suffer greatly. One of the most touching scenes in the book takes place when Elie is in the hospital after major surgery. Even in the midst of pain and fears, Liz quietly ministers to other mothers of desperately ill children, cheering them with words of hope and faith. Liz’s sanctity and kindness become a shining light for her husband, child, and everyone around her. A Grace Given is a uniquely “Long Island” story with much of the action taking place in Port Washington and Manhasset, making it a particularly interesting read. It details a husband’s journey from skepticism toward religion in a way that will leave you feeling grateful for the gift of the Catholic faith. Above all, it is a testament to the exquisite beauty of family life that is as deep and abiding as a father’s heart. Read it, and you will never be the same. Originally published in the Long Island Catholic. (used with permission)
Perspective: 
Catholic
Reviewed by: 
First reviewed: 
8-2-2008

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Book cover: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Author(s): 
Sean Covey
Number of pages: 
267 pages
Copyright: 
1998
ISBN: 
9780613237642
Publisher: 
Simon & Schuster
Binding: 
Softcover
Grade / Age level: 
Review: 
We sometimes think of teenagers as immature, selfish and lacking in objectivity. Sean Covey believes they can learn to be otherwise. Using humorous story lines and a heavy sprinkling of anecdotes Covey has set forth a series of steps leading teens toward a more mature and compassionate view of life. While this is a secular book, it is written from a Christian perspective and "the Golden Rule" underlies most of the content.

The 267 pages are divided into twelve chapters covering the seven habits that "effective" teens display. The author doesn't go into detail regarding what "effective" means, but the reader understands it to be embracing life and living it in a positive, productive and compassionate manner. The seven habits include: being proactive (making a choice to respond positively rather then react negatively), beginning with the end in mind, putting first things first, thinking win-win, seek first to understand, then to be understood, synergize (teamwork), sharpen the saw (taking care of your mind, body, heart and soul. Each chapter begins with a brief introduction of the habit written in a style which grabs the reader. Many anecdotes and examples are then provided showing the effects of the habit in the real world. Finally the author provides a series of exercise to help the teen focus on developing that habit. The exercises are clever and would be effective if the teen carried them out.

This is an excellent book and one which I'll happily pass on to my children with a few pages removed. The author does an outstanding job of explaining how self actions effect mood, performance and one's environment. He encourages teens to be competitive with themselves and avoid comparison. He challenges them to develop internal control that will allow them to act rather then react to life. While Covey doesn't suggest that the internal control should be God centered, he presents the material in such a way that a religious teen would naturally understand that God would be at the center of self discipline.

Parents should be aware of a few comments in the book that deal with sensitive issues. One brief anecdote concerns a girl who was sexually abused as a child, and a few times slang is used for obscene gestures. Page 78 covers the topic "What about Sex" and the section "Caring For Your Heart" beginning on page 228 discusses "Sex and Relationships" and includes a 50 item listing titled "You're not ready to have sex if...." The list would be good for a secular teen but would not be suitable for Catholic children. These pages are easily removed from the book. The section "Caring For Your Soul" is general in nature and not in opposition to any Catholic teaching or practice.

In order for the book to be fully appreciated, teens reading it should have experience in social situations outside the home. Many of the anecdotes take place at school but would be understood by teens who have been in any type of group situation. This book is best suited for children 14 years and older. Older Catholic teens would benefit from reading How To Live Nobly and Well (reviewed above) by Edward Garesche, S.J. which touches on similar subjects from a Catholic perspective.

Reviewed by: 

The Catholic Book of Character and Success

Book cover: The Catholic Book of Character and Success
Author(s): 
Edward Garesché, S.J.
Number of pages: 
160 pages
Copyright: 
1930
ISBN: 
9781928832560
Publisher: 
Sophia Institute Press
Binding: 
Softcover
Grade / Age level: 
Review: 

Formerly titled How to Live Nobly and Well, this reprint of an older Catholic book helps young people focus on those things which bring happiness in this life and in the next. Each chapter focuses on virtues and character traits which encourage harmonious living and union with God or act in opposition to the live of Christ. The reader is brought to an understanding of how to control their imagination and actions by focusing on a higher good. The book instructs them as to how and when to accept criticism and what constitutes prudent behavior. Further, the book focuses on developing self control and a love for God's Holy Will as well as recognizing true happiness as a opposed to the temporary pleasures of the world.

Written for an older audience than The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (reviewed below) it covers many of the same ideas as that book but from a Catholic perspective. the Catholic Book of Character and Success has as its end the hope that the reader will develop a love for and conformity to God's Will. That same hope is not found in The 7 Habits. The tone of the Catholic Book of Character and Success is serious and best read by mature students in their late teens.
 

Perspective: 
Catholic
Reviewed by: 
First reviewed: 
6-27-01